A father turned to the Reddit community to ask if he was wrong for not attending his son's wedding and choosing to spend the evening with his son’s ex-wife instead.
The OP provided some context at the beginning of his post, explaining that his son had moved out of state for college after graduating from high school.
He talked about his son's marriage and how he had tried his best to convince him not to marry because he thought he was “too immature.” However, his son got married to a girl he had met at the age of 19.
He and his wife chose to drop out of school and head back to their hometown and they had their first baby girl together at the age of 20.
However, the daughter-in-law didn't seem very happy with the arrival of the baby. But the father and wife related this feeling to just postpartum depression.
And only 16 months later, his daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby boy. Things took a turn for the worse after the arrival of their second child, with his son and his wife separated.
After the separation, the daughter-in-law would come over to visit with the kids, and she would often open up to the FIL and MIL about her struggles.
He knew there were always two sides to every story, but he found himself believing her more than his son, whom he knew well. So he decided to have a conversation with his son in hopes of finding a solution, but nothing seemed to be working at that point.
“He refused to take responsibility,” he writes, “blamed her for everything even when I directly pointed out where he was the sole problem.”
After trying counseling to work out their issues, things seemed to be “ok” for a year, but it was only on the surface as things began to worsen for them again.
The daughter-in-law filed for divorce, and three days later, the son announced on Facebook that he had a new girlfriend and got engaged within only one month.
When the then-wife had their first child, the then-husband insisted that she become a stay-at-home mom permanently, leaving her with no friends or family in the area except her father-in-law and mother-in-law. After they separated, she had nowhere to go with two young kids.
Feeling sympathetic towards her difficult situation, they both decided to provide her with financial assistance and helped her find an apartment, all without their son's knowledge.
The son wasted no time and sent out wedding invitations to his new fiancée, but the father made it clear that he would neither attend the wedding nor give them his blessing.
He stood firm in his decision despite his wife's attempts to convince him and also asked his son not to bring his fiancée to their home out of respect for the mother of his children.
"The father's wife urged him to make a final decision the night before the wedding. However, he ultimately chose not to attend, and as a result, his daughter also did not attend. Instead, she spent the evening with her ex-wife.
“I couldn’t imagine her sitting alone, while her kid’s attended their father’s wedding,” he explains.
His son was clearly unhappy with this decision, describing him as a” horrible father” for not attending the wedding.
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The son's behavior was harshly criticized in the comment section, with people describing him as “immature” and an “idiot.”
Most Redditors saw nothing wrong with what the OP did and instead placed the entire blame on his son. One Redditor even wrote, “You win FIL of the year award. Your son seems to be very very immature.”
A second suggested, “I'm sure you can make it up to him by attending atleast one of his next three weddings...... NTA.”
A third commented, “NTA- it sounds like you’re a reasonable parent who acknowledges when your kid is being an idiot. I don’t see anything wrong with you choosing to support the mother of your grandchildren who he seems to have left in a bad spot.”
The OP updated the post to thank everyone for their support and stated that he’s certain he did the right thing.
He also revealed that when his son saw the post, he told his mom “he's dead to me now,” in reference to his dad. However, the father has no doubt that as soon as his son “needs another cash loan,” he’ll no longer consider him “dead.”
Source: Reddit
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source https://www.womenio.com/42850/father-skips-his-sons-wedding-doesnt-give-him-his-blessing
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