For ages, motherhood has served as humanity's primary method of reproduction, standing as one of the most critical roles women have fulfilled in society. Yet, in the present era, does motherhood have the same level of importance it once held? Specifically, is the choice to embark on the journey of motherhood still as worthwhile in today's world? Or could choosing not to have children and embracing a fulfilling child-free life be a wiser choice? This was recently the heart of the debate in a viral TikTok video.
Fewer Incentives, Fewer Moms
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TikToker @itsme_abbye has sparked a heated online discussion with her recent video that sheds light on why women are increasingly hesitant to embrace motherhood like never before.
In her video, she declares that women are now choosing not to become mothers due to the lack of incentives associated with modern motherhood.
Zero Benefits
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While she’s uncertain about the existence of incentives for motherhood in the past, she confidently says that there are no incentives whatsoever at present.
“Women aren’t becoming moms anymore because it sucks. There’s literally no incentive to become a mom anymore,“ the TikToker states.
The "Horrible" Reality
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One of the key reasons why the original creator considers motherhood to be unfavorable is pregnancy, which she describes as "horrible" for most women. Moreover, she points out the lack of adequate healthcare and the absence of parental leave once the baby is born, adding that there is no paid leave available.
Early Separation
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According to the TikToker, one aspect that contributes to the negative experience of pregnancy and motherhood is the fact that many women are compelled to separate from their babies after approximately 10 weeks.
New Moms Left To Suffer
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She also claims that women are rarely monitored for postpartum depression and anxiety, except for a single checkup at six weeks, and this lack of ongoing support makes the lives of new moms even harder since they can suffer from postpartum symptoms and depression for up to a year.
“Astronomical” Expenses
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When considering the long-term future beyond the first year of becoming a mother, the TikToker realizes that the cost of living is already “astronomical,” and this also extends to the astronomical cost of childcare.
“If you’re lucky enough to have a spouse who makes enough money that allows you to comfortably be able to stay home with your child, that’s almost unheard of,” she adds.
Pay for Daycare or Stay At Home?
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She also raises another point about why having a baby isn’t a good financial investment – childcare costs can sometimes be so high that it becomes more affordable for the mother to stay at home rather than go to work and pay for daycare expenses.
Unequal Burden
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In addition, she raises the concern that there is no guarantee that the partner with whom she shares a home will continue to be an equal partner after she gives birth to their children.
To support her claim, she cites statistics indicating that mothers bear twice the burden of domestic labor compared to men, and that this unequal distribution of responsibilities directly affects mothers' mental health.
“Terrifying” Reality
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Setting aside the concerns related to pregnancy, spouse involvement, and childcare, there’s also another “terrifying” factor that may make women more hesitant to have kids in today's society: there’s “a high probability” that their kids can get killed by an active shooter in the US schools.
“What’s even more terrifying is that nobody f..king cares. Nobody in power gives a f..k.”
Welcoming a Daughter in Today's World
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Is having a daughter better than having a son in this society? It is actually worse, according to the TikToker. “God forbid you have a daughter,” she says, “cause she’s likely not gonna have any bodily autonomy. She’s not gonna have any rights to her body.”
“I wouldn’t wanna have a daughter in this day and age right now. You couldn’t pay me to. Honestly, you couldn’t pay me to have another kid right now, period.”
It Benefits Men
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Moving on from all the “sh.t” that comes with having kids, she addresses why society often perceives a woman's only purpose in life to be bearing children, questioning, “Why are women’s only source of fulfillment supposed to be from children?”
She answers, “Because it benefits you. It benefits men. It benefits the economy.”
It Benefits Patriarchy
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When women decide they don’t want to be mothers, she argues that it no longer becomes beneficial to a patriarchal society. "I.e., you, a man," she sarcastically adds.
Can Women Lead Fulfilled Lives Without Having Children?
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The TikToker concludes that when the world and society attempt to make it more appealing for women to have children, women nowadays may consider it, or maybe they won't. At the end of the day, women no longer need to have kids in order to have a fulfilled life.
Having Kids Is A “Scam”
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From the comments section, it appears that the TikToker's opinion about motherhood wasn’t viewed as overly dramatic, with some viewers sharing their own positive experiences of choosing not to become mothers, with one person commenting, "62 and childless. Happy as can be!!"
Another woman shared her perspective by stating, “I've known since I was 16 that having kids in the US is a scam. I'm 42 now and regret absolutely nothing,” while another expressed agreement, “28 & childless. I use to think ‘I want a huge family and I want to be a mom more than anything’ in the last 5 years. Nope, no want at all anymore.”
Potential Suffering
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Many others supported the TikToker's perspective that motherhood is no longer a favorable choice. Some even expressed concerns about bringing someone into the world to "suffer," while others speculated that even if they did have children, the current environmental conditions would make it unlikely for them to “live past 40 years.”
“I Would Love To Be A Mom, But”
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Other women shared their desire to become mothers and didn't hold as strong a negative view as the TikToker. However, they acknowledged that the current conditions and challenges in society are what hinder them from fulfilling this desire.
One viewer commented, “I want kids but I'm happy that the romanticized myths are being dispelled. I'd rather hear the truth than feel lied to.”
Enjoying Motherhood with Two Key Conditions
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On the other hand, some viewers shared a positive outlook on motherhood, as one woman admitted that she loves being a mom, but acknowledged that not everyone would enjoy it unless two specific conditions were met: “(1) I make tons of money and (2) my husband's a stay-at-home dad.
“Without those 2 factors, I'd drown.”
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Source: TikTok
source https://www.womenio.com/46206/having-kids-in-the-us-is-a-scam-woman-reveals-the-reasons-why-more-women-are-choosing-not-to-become-mothers-and-embracing-a-child-free-life-instead
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