Despite his love for his wife, one husband doesn't feel any desire to attend church anymore in his life even with his wife. At the same time, she’s embarking on a spiritual journey and consistently pushes him to come along, causing him to snap at her and eventually feel bad about it.
A New Spiritual Path
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On Reddit, the husband reveals that his wife has embarked on a spiritual journey in recent months and has started attending his sister's church as a result.
Conventional Christianity
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Offering context on his sister's church, he describes them as conventional Christians who adhere to the typical belief system. As he puts it:
“God is great, you are bad and if you don’t repent you are going to hell. If my God offends you then that’s your fault, blah blah blah.”
Giving Back to God
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As someone who was raised in the church, he's familiar with the idea of praying away your problems and having faith.
Even though he's familiar with the church's teachings and the importance of giving back to God by tithing 10% of his Sunday earnings. Yet, he admits that this obligation can sometimes feel more like an enforced “tax” than a voluntary offering.
Religion and Doubt
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From a young age, he never really felt comfortable with the idea of religion, because who really knows what happens after we die?
Live and Let Live
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The OP subscribes to the philosophy of "live and let live," believing that everyone should be free to live their lives as they see fit, and if they're judged on the other side, then so be it.
Only One Spouse Goes to Church
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On the wife's first day attending her sister-in-law's church, she asked her husband to join her, but he politely declined based on his personal beliefs.
“I don’t feel the need to step into a church ever again,” he admits.
Wife’s Persistence
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Two weeks later, the wife asked her husband to join her at her sister's church once more, but he reiterated his previous answer and declined, saying, “I don’t want to go.”
Persistence Becomes Pressure
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The wife persisted in asking her husband to come to her sister's church, even after he had declined twice before.
A week later, he grew increasingly frustrated and snapped, telling her, “Stop asking me, I’m not going.”
The Last Straw
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The wife's insistence on her husband joining her at her sister's church reached a breaking point when she asked him once again, leaving him completely fed up.
Snapping At Wife
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His frustration with her persistent requests to attend the church boiled over, leading him to angrily tell her, “I don’t know what spiritual battle thing you have going on but it’s something you have to deal [with] on your own because I’m not going to that stupid a.s church.”
Overwhelming Sense of Guilt
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While the husband acknowledged that he felt guilty for losing his temper with his wife, he also reminded himself that he had clearly expressed his disinterest in attending the church on multiple occasions.
Keeping the Peace
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The husband and wife had previously agreed to keep religion out of their home, a decision that had brought them peace and harmony for a while.
Seeking Guidance
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The wife's recent insistence on attending her sister's church has caused tension in their relationship, leaving the husband unsure of what to do next. Seeking advice from the Reddit community, he hoped to gain some perspective on the situation.
No Means No
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The husband received an "NTA" verdict on Reddit, with many agreeing that he “should have taken her husband’s ‘no’ the first time and not asked again.”
As they have previously discussed religion and church, the wife should respect her husband's viewpoint and not push the matter. In other words, she should "let it go."
Religious Extremism
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“Religious people can be over the top sometimes,” another commenter pointed out, adding that “It’s unfortunate she can’t just enjoy church on her own and leave you out of it.”
“Just Walk Away”
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“Make it clear that, no matter how many times she asks, you will not be going,” one user advised. “If she asks again, just walk away. No need to keep beating a dead horse.”
“How Annoying”
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In response to an “NTA” voter who questioned, “Why on earth does she keep asking if you’re clearly declining?” the OP suggested that “it’s because the church puts it into people's head that they need to be recruiting offices for the church.”
“Your Marriage Will Be Ending Soon”
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“I agree that once you told her not to ask again, she should have stopped asking,” shared one Redditor.
“However, I think you need to come to terms with the fact that your marriage will be ending soon. this scenario plays itself out often. When one partner discovers religion, then they decide that the other partner needs to be traded in for one who shares the faith.”
“Pushy and Disrespectful”
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When a commenter suggested that the wife's persistent questioning and disregard for her husband's answer is “pushy and disrespectful,” the husband shared his frustration, saying that he thought telling her he wouldn't go to church again would make it a closed topic. Apparently, that wasn't the case.
The Fine Line Between Sharing and Forcing
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“It’s ok for people to have their fandoms but it’s not ok to try to pester someone else into joining,” agreed one commenter.
Responding with a humorous quip, the OP wrote, “I understand this. I mean I love Star Wars but I don’t force her to sit there and join the dark side of the force by praying to Darth Sidious.”
Go With the Flow vs Firm Boundaries
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As the discussion continued in the comments, the OP revealed that he's more of a "go with the flow" kind of person. He explains, “I don’t like bothering people and I don’t like people bothering me. If I could I would build a raccoon utopia and just live within that community.”
The husband also emphasized that despite his frustration, he loves his wife dearly and wants her to be happy, he just wishes she would respect his boundaries when it comes to religion.
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