The notion of women fully dedicating themselves to a man and embracing motherhood is slowly losing its appeal in today's society. One woman who shares this viewpoint has taken it upon herself to "unbrainwash" women from the patriarchal mindset and remind them of what she thinks should truly matter in their lives.
Women Breaking Free from Traditional Roles
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Throughout the ages, women were expected to fulfill their "role" in society by getting married and becoming mothers, even if it wasn't necessarily what they truly wanted, they still conformed to societal expectations.
However, with increased freedom of choice and greater opportunities in women's careers, more women no longer see the significance of being in a committed relationship or having children.
Brainwashed By A Patriarchal Society
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A woman named Julia Cha recently advocated this idea, ensuring that her message was crystal clear to all women. She explained why she believes women have been brainwashed by a patriarchal society and outlined her thoughts on what they should do now to lead more fulfilling lives.
The Smart Single
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In a short clip posted by TikToker Jared Seay (@jseay), he connects the intelligence of women with their romantic lives, stating: ”Did you know that on average, the smarter she is? The more likely it is for her to be single?
“That's because she would rather be alone than waste her motherf..king time.”
Challenges Patriarchal Conditioning
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In response, TikToker Julia Cha (@juliajcha) created a stitch video, captioning it with the onscreen text "Unbrainwashing women from patriarchal mental conditioning."
Opening her video with a strong statement, she declares, “I guess this makes me the smartest b.tch of all time.”
Don’t Commit
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In a firm tone, Julia urges women to resist conforming to societal expectations of committing to a man and starting a family, stating, “Dear women, here’s what your mother, grandmother, and your female friends never told you, committing to a man is like putting all your eggs in one basket.”
Relationship Investments
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By likening romantic relationships to financial investments, she poses a thought-provoking question: “If you wouldn’t do that with investments, why would you do that with a man?”
Career First
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The TikToker firmly believes that women should prioritize building their careers rather than investing in a committed relationship with a man who could unexpectedly leave them for any reason.
“Committing to a career is better investment than committing to any man,” she asserts. “Your career is always going to be your own, a man can change his mind anytime”
The Dream of Becoming a Mother
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Julia also encourages all women to "stop romanticizing the idea of having children," reminding them of the harsh realities of bringing a child into the world, both physically and emotionally.
She argues, “Having a ripped-up vagina while you give birth is the easiest part of parenting”
The Hardest Part Of Motherhood
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Following the uncomfortable journey of pregnancy and childbirth, which she considers to be the easiest part of motherhood, she then proceeds to discuss the intense challenges faced by mothers thereafter.
According to Julia, “The hardest part of parenting is teaching them how to respect you as a person, when all of society trains them to see you as a convenience tool”.
A Homeless Woman Has More Freedom than a Mother
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She draws attention to another not-so-fun aspect of being a mother, suggesting that having children makes women even more vulnerable than a single woman who is homeless.
Despite being without a home, the single homeless woman still has more options compared to a mother.
Limited Choices of Motherhood
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“As soon as you have a child, your options are limited,” she argues.
From Julia's standpoint, mothers have significantly fewer choices because every decision they make must prioritize the well-being of their children.
Choose Your Battles
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Continuing her argument, Julia acknowledges that following her advice may not elicit the most positive response from society, but she maintains that it is still the smartest thing to do.
“Society will not treat you kindly when you make decisions that patriarchy does not agree with,” she asserts, ending her video by saying, “Now that I’ve told you, don’t ever say no one ever told you. Choose your battles in life.”
Exit Strategies In Relationships
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Julia's argument deeply resonated with many viewers, with some taking to the comment section to offer additional advice for women. One comment stood out, stating, “If you chose to get into a relationship, make sure you can leave. Even the nicest apartment needs an emergency Exit”.
Patriarchal Enslavement
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Echoing Julia's sentiments, one viewer concurred by commenting, “Marriage and Motherhood in patriarchal societies are the biggest enslavement tricks EVER,” while another urged, “Do not waste your time, health or resources on any man.”
Money as the Ultimate Partner
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Several commenters shared the sentiment that pursuing money is a superior investment compared to pursuing love, with one user remarking, "Your knight in shining armor is always gonna be money. “
Another chimed in, “I decided years ago money is my soulmate. Not trying to force relationships.”
“I Wasted My Life Being Married And Having Children”
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Some viewers found the video emotionally impactful, as they opened up about their own negative encounters with marriage and parenthood. One commenter confessed, “This is making me cry. My kids really don't see me as a person.”
A different user shared, “4 kids, 2nd husband, grad school, work. Don’t even have time for the nervous breakdown I deserve.”
A Wife, Mother, and Career Woman: Can You Be Everything?
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On the other hand, some commenters voiced the opinion that women have the capacity to be everything they want at once. One woman shared, “I wanted it all, it's a privilege to be a woman, a wife, and a mother. with a career. It's not all bad”
Julia responded by clarifying that her intention with the video was not to discourage women from embracing motherhood or committed relationships. She emphasized, “The advice is to make decisions understanding the risk factors.”
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