Building a relationship with someone who already has a child from a previous partner brings its own set of challenges, with gradual integration into the family being one of the most difficult ones. However, one man appears to be struggling with this aspect to such an extent that he canceled the trip he had planned with his fiancee due to her last-minute request to bring her young son along, and instead, he just went with his friends.
Two-Year Love Story & Upcoming Wedding
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
On Reddit, a 33-year-old man recently opened up about his two-year relationship with a woman named Natalie. They’re planning to get married soon, and she shares custody of her 10-year-old son with her ex-husband, Tom.
Son Becomes More Involved
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
Natalie has been bringing her son over more often since her ex-husband got sick. In situations when she's busy with work or other responsibilities, her mom would occasionally look after him.
Going Out Less
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
The couple has been facing challenges lately because Natalie has to bring her fiancé's stepson, Tylor, along on all their outings.
“We started going out less and less,” the OP shares.
Weekend Getaway
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
Now that a month has passed since their last outing and her ex-husband has recovered, her fiance has planned a weekend trip to the beach as a couple's getaway. Natalie was thrilled about it and made all the necessary preparations.
A Last-Minute Twist
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
As the night before their trip arrives, Natalie approaches her fiance and says, "Hey, Tom is sick again and he asked if I could take Taylor to spend the weekend with us".
Fiancé's Shock
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
“I was gobsmacked,” he recalls.
When he asked what she had said to him, she replied that she had agreed. Natalie went on to express her wish to take Taylor with them to the beach.
Officially Canceled
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
This request clearly didn’t sit well with her fiance, who had been eagerly looking forward to their trip together. Consequently, he made an immediate and firm decision to cancel it.
“I got upset and told her to not bother because the trip was officially cancelled.”
Another Opportunity “Ruined”
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
Natalie looked at her fiance in shock, but he didn't hold back and told her not to act surprised and shocked, as she “successfully ruined” another opportunity for them to have quality time alone.
End of Discussion
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
His fiancee was still unable to believe that he actually expected her to ditch her son when her mother was also busy and finding a babysitter wasn’t an option.
In response, he simply shrugged, said it was over, and walked out.
Choosing Friends Over Family Time
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
After canceling the trip with Natalie, the fiance decided to go with the friends instead, leaving her feeling upset. She told him that he could have simply agreed to let his stepson come along, and they could have had some quality family time together while her ex-husband recovered.
Online Backlash
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
With Natalie accusing her fiance that he “was the one who screwed up,” he turned to the Reddit community to ask if should’ve canceled the trip or not. And he received rather harsh criticism from those who read the story and gave him a “YTA” judgment.
“I Love My Stepson, BUT”
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
In response to the backlash he received for his actions with his fiancee, the OP felt compelled to clarify in an update that he had never mentioned being unprepared or unwilling to accept the role of a stepparent. “Trust me, I am ready and so far have been nothing but understanding and patient,” he asserts. “I love my stepson and consider him as my own.”
“BUT my PROBLEM is with his mom constantly changing plans last minute and not even asking if that's okay with me. And yes I had to go out with the guys instead. Didn't know what else to do since she obviously wanted some space from me for the weekend which is alright with me BTW...I'm not mad about that AT ALL... I'd just appreciate it if she'd been a little bit more....considerate of my thoughts and opinions.”
“Your Edit Made This WORSE”
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
It seems that his post update didn’t make his situation any better on the internet, with someone remarking in the comment section, “Whew. Buddy, your edit made this WORSE.”
“Your WANTS will always come after her child's NEEDS. Proper adult supervision is a NEED. Your WANTS may have to be rescheduled around that. She will never need to ask for your permission or opinion if she is addressing something the child NEEDS. Full stop.”
Questioning Fiancé's Love
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
“For f.cks sake, she didn't change the plan because she wanted to, her ex got sick,” pointed out another commenter. “Just what exactly did you expect her to do in this situation? Drop the kid off at the orphanage? Leave him home by himself? YTA.”
“You said in a comment that you love the kid like your own....... did you call your family to see if anyone could watch him?”
“This Isn't Going To Last”
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
YTA for not breaking it off,” voted one Redditor. “‘We haven't been out for a month’ is normal in parent land. It's completely fine to not want to be a parent at all or even just right now. Unfortunately, that means NOT dating a woman that has a child- even if she is otherwise the perfect woman.”
“The fact she ‘hoped we could bond as a family’ tells me she's really hoping you'll grow closer and see him as your stepson whereas your reaction that you need a break from him after spending more time with him than usual because his (actual) dad is sick… The 2 of you aren't compatible.”
The Bigger Picture
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
“YTA. Not so much for being annoyed at this specific last-minute change of plans, but for refusing to acknowledge the bigger picture here,” argued another user. “Natalie is a mother, whether you like it or not, and her co-parent either isn’t in good health or just isn’t reliable.”
“I can’t really see any viable ending to that conversation but you going your separate ways so she can find someone who’s genuinely okay with being a stepparent.”
“Walk Away From Her”
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
“Holy Jesus, YTA,” agreed a different user, urging, “Please do this woman a favor and walk away from her. I mean, with happens if her ex dies and she has her son 100% of the time?”
“You are in no way ready for someone with a child.”
More From Womenio
Image credit: Dzmitry Held via Canva.com
What you rarely see in fashion magazines is what women wear that men love. Here are 21 Things Women Wear That Men LOVE
20 Weird Things People Find Extremely Attractive That Most DON'T
Illustration. Image credit: katyasmailey via Canva.com.
Everyone's got their own idea of what they find attractive, and sometimes it's something a little unconventional. Here are 20 Weird Things People Find Extremely Attractive That Most DON'T
30 Things Men Should Wear to Drive Women WILD - (According to Women)
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
Here is what you should wear to drive them crazy: 30 Things Men Should Wear to Drive Women WILD - (According to Women)
25 Popular Things Women Wear That Men Secretly Hate
Image credit: Depositphotos
From your favorite accessories right down to the choices of footwear, here is a list of fashion items men wish women stopped wearing: 25 Popular Things Women Wear That Men Secretly Hate
33 Dirty Company Secrets Revealed By Employees That We Are Not Supposed To Know
Illustration. Image credit: Shutterstock
Learn what various industries tried to hide from outsiders straight from the employees: 33 Dirty Company Secrets Revealed By Employees That We Are Not Supposed To Know
Source: Reddit
source https://www.womenio.com/45899/man-cancels-trip-after-his-fiancees-sudden-decision-to-bring-along-her-10-year-old-son-i-went-with-the-guys-instead
No comments:
Post a Comment