A retired man has turned to the internet for advice after he told his daughter he wasn’t going to let her move in with him after she got pregnant.
Daughter Happy Getting a Birth Control Implant
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Posting to the AITA subreddit, the Dad starts his story off by explaining that his daughter is 23 years old.
Several years ago, the OP’s wife (not the daughter’s mother) took his daughter to get a birth control implant and claims that she was “always happy on it”.
Getting Married To a Guy She Met Online
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
After some time had gone by, his daughter met a guy online and began to swiftly fall in love with him, but he lives in another state.
However, his daughter was deadset on this man, telling her Dad how they wanted to get married and have a kid.
All good, right?
Now She Wants To Have A Kid With A Man She Barely Knows
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos.
About 3 months before his daughter was preparing to set out and meet him in person, she decided to get her birth control implant removed. Her decision to get it removed was justified by the fact that she didn’t like it anymore and wanted to switch to pills.
“This kind of raised my eyebrow,” the dad wrote, “She had always talked about loving the implant because she no longer had periods.”
Cost of Raising a Child
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
The Dad decided to go over how important this decision was with his daughter, including discussing other birth control options and the high cost of having children since he admits his daughter has problems with following through and keeping commitments, but her mind was made up. She wanted the pills.
Her Mother Stopped Taking Pills so His Father Would Marry Her
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However, the OP was also concerned with her decision because of his daughter’s mother.
“Part of my concern here is that her mother openly admits she stopped taking her pills and intentionally got pregnant so I would marry her (I did, and we are divorced now).”
Father Doesn't Want to Take Care of His Grandchildren
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The OP also told his daughter that he loved raising his young kids (who are 8 and 10) with his current wife, but he had no intention of raising hers. He is also really fond of enjoying the rest of his retirement without that burden.
Despite all of this, his daughter ended up getting pregnant with her online boyfriend’s baby during her trip to meet him.
Financial problems
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What makes the situation worse is that his daughter’s boyfriend is not financially stable as he has a disability and his daughter is unable to work due to morning sickness.
OP Told His Daughter She Can’t Move In, She Gets Furious
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So she called her dad one night and asked him if she and her boyfriend could move in with her just until they both find a job, save up, and move out before the baby is born.
The OP also added that her mother has no room in her house to help.
“I said no,” he wrote, “My daughter has a history of not following through on her commitments and I know that she won't actually move out before she has the baby, and probably not for a long while after. She has trouble taking responsibility for herself and I am guessing we will be the ones dealing with the baby mostly.”
OP Doesn't Want a Stranger in His House
Illustration. Image credit: Depositphotos
The OP is already taking care of the cat his daughter adopted because didn't want to keep taking care of it.
“On top of that, I don't want this man that I don't know and she barely knows in my home with my small children.”
Daughter and Mom Upset with OP's Decision
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Despite telling her he would help with a deposit and first months rent on a house, his daughter became very upset with him and apparently told her mom, who is now also upset with him and “chewed [him] up one side and down the other for not supporting her.”
"Dad Owes Her Nothing"
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Redditors unanimously voted that the OP was NOT in the wrong.
One wrote, “dad has absolved himself....His daughter has to fully accept the consequences of her actions for at least the next 18 years. Dad owes her NOTHING at this point."
With another user adding, “If she is mature enough to have a baby, she needs to be mature enough to care for it without foisting those duties onto [her dad]."
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Source: Reddit
source https://www.womenio.com/44718/retired-man-tells-pregnant-daughter-she-cant-move-in-with-him
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