A bride-to-be is filled with excitement as she envisions her dream wedding taking place on this very beach. Ever since she got engaged to her fiance there, it has been their ultimate dream to exchange vows at this special location. Much to her disappointment, her sister calls her out for not paying extra to make her wedding accessibility friendly for family, although she’s “already paying for a whole wedding.”
Single Mom with Disabled Daughter
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A single mom, aged 34, takes to Reddit to share that her 8-year-old daughter, Mia, has been disabled since birth, necessitating wheelchair assistance and constant care whenever she is awake.
“I absolutely love her to death,” she gushes, “and it’s only been us during this entire journey, so I’m definitely super protective of my little girl.”
Sister's Big Day
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The mother's sister, Cassidy, who is 28 years old, recently contacted her to discuss the logistics and plans for her wedding in six months to her fiancé, 27-year-old Max.
Sand, Sea, and Love
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The wedding will take place on a beach close to the OP’s city. The ceremony itself will be a small gathering of 35 people near the water, followed by a bonfire and barbecue, all set on the sand.
The bride-to-be just wanted to inform her sister in advance before sending the official invitation because of her daughter Mia.
Shock & Disappointment
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Her sister was completely disappointed since she had expected her to at least check in with her before reserving the beach location, considering Mia's inability to attend. “I truly have never been more shocked and disappointed in my sister,” she recalls.
Unchangeable Arrangements
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Compounding her sister's disappointment, she made it clear to her that the plans are already set in stone and cannot be changed.
Potential Heartbreak
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The single mom tried to explain to her sister how much it would hurt Mia to miss her auntie's wedding, as Mia has a deep love for her auntie.
The thought of not being able to attend the wedding would leave her daughter “absolutely heartbroken.”
Single Mom Struggles
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The mother expressed, “It’s already so difficult raising a child with disabilities without a partner, but when even family is this inconsiderate and cruel, it’s truly the worst feeling.”
Extra Costs
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Cassidy quickly shifted the conversation, insisting that she and Max had already taken care of the accessibility concern by confirming the availability of a sand-friendly wheelchair for her sister to rent at the beach.
However, renting the appropriate wheelchair for use on the beach would cost a steep $110 per day.
“The Audacity”
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The mother was taken aback by Cassidy's “audacity” in asking guests, herself included, to pay their own way just to attend the event, especially when she was well aware that her sister can’t afford this.
Sentimental Significance
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Determined, Cassidy firmly stated that she would not consider changing the location for her wedding because she and her fiance had actually met on this very beach and it had held a special significance for them ever since.
Not only did they meet here, but they also got engaged in this very spot, making it their dream to tie the knot at the same location.
Tight Wedding Budget
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When the mom suggested that Cassidy should cover the cost of the wheelchair rental, she defended herself by pointing out that she and Max had already made significant sacrifices in their budget and plans due to their own financial limitations.
She stressed that they too were struggling financially and couldn't afford to bear any additional costs.
How Come?
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Taken aback by Cassidy's response, she questioned, “Like, you’re already paying for a whole wedding, but can’t afford a rental for your FAMILY to come?”
“Inconsiderate” Sister
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After hearing the perspectives of other moms in the same situation, she started to seriously consider the idea of informing Cassidy that they wouldn’t be attending the wedding, believing that attending her sister’s wedding would only mean that she’s “supporting a person who’s inconsiderate to her own family.”
Backlash on Reddit
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The consensus among the Reddit users was a resounding "YTA" for the OP, who was met with backlash for not wanting to be there for her sister on her special day.
Trying to make sense of the entire dispute, one Reddit user wrote, “So, Cassidy and Max picked a location for their wedding that has a deep emotional meaning to them. And ensured that there were accommodations that would allow Mia to attend. So this dispute is really ‘My sister won't pay $110 for a wheelchair for Mia to attend.’ YTA.”
Is Mom Making Exuces?
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Another Redditor chimed in with a suggestion, stating, “If mom really wanted to go to this wedding and bring her daughter Mia, she could save a whopping $18.34 a month in order to rent the wheelchair that is sand friendly. YTA.”
Centering the Wedding Around Herself
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“The fact that OP thought that the bride and groom should run their choice of venue by her first is very telling,” argued another commenter. “No couple needs a guest's approval before booking their wedding venue, especially when the location is one of deep personal significance to them.”
They added, “Guests, of course, can choose not to attend if the wedding venue is not suitable for their needs. That is their call. But given how OP has already tried to center the wedding around her and her daughter, I am not sure that's a serious sacrifice for the couple. I am sure OP is worse in person and would spend the entire wedding and reception making things about her/her daughter too.”
It’s About The Bride & Groom
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“YTA,” agreed another commenter. Your daughter is not excluded. They checked for a wheelchair option. Your life may revolve around your disabled daughter, but you can't seriously expect your sister to. She's got her own life to live.”
In response to the comment, another Reddit user argued that many guests tend to forget that the wedding day is mainly about celebrating the union of the bride and groom, and “it looks like the sister forgot about this one.”
“It's NOT Her Responsibility”
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“Sigh. I hate to say this, but YTA,” voted another commenter. “It's THEIR WEDDING. Not yours, not Mia's.”
“However, if you believe that she's truly doing this because she doesn't want Mia there, then you should obviously choose not to go. But it's not HER responsibility to pay for your daughter's needs.”
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